Patrick J Battuello

Archive for the ‘Ducks’ Category

Man vs Mallard

In Ducks, Geese, Hunting, Religion on July 20, 2011 at 11:50 am

Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, an ordained Baptist minister who once said, “I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ,” shared the joy of mallard hunting with a 2007 NRA audience: “To watch mallards come in a flock, cut their wings and land but a few feet in front of you on a cold winter day near Stuttgart, Arkansas, is just about as close to heaven as I think one can get on this Earth. And as one who believes, because of my faith, that I’m going to Heaven, I’m pretty sure there will be duck hunting in Heaven, and I can’t wait.” Hunter Huckabee is fooling no one with his spiritual rhetoric. Ultimately, he is motivated by a base, macho desire to kill. And that is hardly a Christian virtue.

Waterfowl (ducks, geese, brant) hunting is highly regulated in NYS. No rifles, handguns, traps, snares, or nets. Machine guns and explosives, too, are prohibited. And please, leave poisons and drugs at home. After all, the competition must be fair. Curiously, sink boxes (a float that conceals one’s body beneath the surface) are banned, but blinds (and ponchos?) are fine so long as they’re labeled with name and address. Only paraplegics and amputees can shoot from cars, and “you may not shoot crippled birds when under power.” Decoys are allowed, but they mustn’t be live. Use calls at your leisure, but no electronics, amplifiers, or tapes. And no bait. The DEC also expects you to “make a reasonable effort to retrieve all killed or crippled birds.” How very magnanimous.

In NY, the minimum age to enjoy this timeless tradition is 12. In 1996, the enlightened folks at the DEC established the two-day preseason Youth Waterfowl Days. This is a special time for children to get their feet wet, so to speak. Very exciting. One hunting service boasts that “without a doubt, the biggest rush in water fowling is for the sea ducks. On some days it is literally shooting as fast as you can load your gun. …an unforgettable experience.”

Within the hunter’s code lies some convoluted notion of the fair chase (or, as the case may be, the hide, lure, and fire away), and towards that end, the aforementioned limits have been established. But I would argue that this fairness doctrine applies not to the adversaries in question, but rather to equitably maintaining a bountiful supply for all (hunters) to enjoy. For in this titanic struggle between man and mallard, some unfair (if you were a duck) advantages (guns, blinds, decoys, calls) are deemed acceptable, while others (laying waste with battery guns and grenades) are not. The ducks, it should be noted, have no desire to participate in this game. They are simply flying for their lives.

While Mike Huckabee and Joseph Classen, Catholic priest and passionate hunting advocate, unabashedly invoke God’s name as they wantonly destroy his creations, my Catholic school upbringing informs otherwise. The nuns and brothers described a God (Jesus) who embodies love, compassion, mercy, and, life. Seems a rather difficult reconciliation to make. Shooting defenseless ducks on a Saturday afternoon is not communing with nature, nor is it a necessary evil for ecological balance. It is a leisure activity in which some animals suffer if only wounded, while others die a premature death. Hunters hunt, primarily, because it is fun. And there is no better example of this than shooting, “as fast as you can load your gun,” the menacing waterfowl. Mike Huckabee, noble warrior, must burst with pride at the day’s harvest. And, at least for him, God smiles approvingly.

Foie Gras: Misery Served

In Ducks, Foie Gras, Geese on July 10, 2011 at 10:57 am

“Animals have no soul. God made ducks to have that liver—and He made it incredibly delicious! Why would it exist if not for us to enjoy it?” (Ariane Daguin, owner of NYC restaurant D’Artagnan, from New York magazine)

“The foie gras issue is separate from whether people should eat meat. These people are animal-torturing, psychotic extremists. They should be locked up.” (Bryan Pease, Animal Protection and Rescue League, same New York article)

Foie gras translated is fatty liver. More specifically, livers from ducks and geese are intentionally enlarged (by force-feeding, called gavage, with a pipe shoved into their throats) up to ten times their normal size (and roughly comprised of 80% fat). They end up as “sautéed foie gras with sunchokes, confiture of kumquats, garden tarragon, and a Banyuls-vinegar gastrique” and priced for the most discriminating palates. In defense, Ariane Daguin said (Time article on Philadelphia’s face-off), “It seems terrible if you don’t know that a duck’s esophagus is lined with a very thick cuticle, if you don’t realize that baby ducks are fed by their mother pushing her beak down the baby’s throat.” But veterinarian Holly Cheever offers this scientific rebuke (additional expert analysis).

The largest producer in the nation is Hudson Valley Foie Gras (visual evidence here). Led by the unapologetic Michael Ginor (author of Foie Gras: A Passion), Hudson Valley churns out some 5,000 ducks per week. He staunchly defends his company’s record (claiming that ASPCA and AVA inspections have turned up no extraordinary violations; he also notes that their 3.5% mortality rate is far lower than a regular poultry farm) and animal care (bonuses are awarded to feeders for bringing live, bloated ducks to slaughter). But in a more introspective moment, Ginor admits: “I wrestle with this. I believe in karma. If I see an ant on the floor, I avoid it. I don’t needlessly take a life. I am not making the argument that ‘we’re humans and they’re ducks, so who the f— cares?’”

Foie gras provides an easy and obvious target. Even among omnivores, the indelible images of the gavage (sometimes causing a ruptured liver) and the breathing-impaired, diseased animal hobbling around over his final few weeks prove difficult to ignore. Also, the romantic dishes with French names (caviar, escargot, foie gras) are associated with elitist dining. In a world where millions die from hunger each year, gross outlays on status foods are widely considered, at best, self-indulgent. Marshall Sella, author of the New York article, calls foie gras the “most Catholic of delicacies: paradise attained through suffering.”

Is foie gras appreciably worse than bacon or steak? Daguin: “If these people wanted to start in the right place, they would outlaw the slaughter of cows in a kosher way, which they could never do here. The one time I saw a cow slaughtered that way, seeing it bleed for two hours, this was the one time I had to go outside and vomit.” But comparing levels of torture and misery should be quite beside the point. When contemplating Sella’s supposed “paradise,” I can’t help but be reminded of this quote from the English writer William Ralph Inge: “We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form.” This is what the devil looks like to ducks and geese (undercover video).

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